Your Japan trip is a ticking time bomb of embarrassment. Let's defuse it. You've color-coded your itinerary. You've memorized the train map. You think you're smooth. You aren't. You are about to fly into a sweat-drenched nightmare of social faux pas and rookie mistakes. You are about to become the tourist that locals roll their eyes at: the one blocking the ticket gate, drowning sushi in "mud," and standing in the rain for two hours for TikTok ramen. Let me throw you a life saver of a book before you drown: Japan: You're Doing It Wrong. Stop trying to replicate the influencers. Stop accidentally insulting chefs. Stop creating stress for yourself and those around you. Read the book.The Sweat Penalty: Your luggage will make you miserable, but it doesn't have to. The Culinary Insult: Why the chef is looking at you like that. The "X" at the Door: Why you keep getting turned away from empty restaurants (hint: it's not racism). The Hype Trap: You realize those viral "Japanese" foods aren't really Japanese, right? I mean go ahead and stand in line if you want, but... The No-Fun Zone: What's perfectly legal in the US can land you in prison in Japan, and most visitors have no idea. No, your embassy can't bail you out. I've made a few of these mistakes myself. I've never done Japanese hard time, but I've suffered the Subway Walk of Shame and I'm ashamed to say that I've eaten the viral ramen. I was once like you. But now I'm here to help you do better. Use this book. Save your dignity. Do Japan right.